How to balance your pig-in-a-blanket with your Dom Perignon... that is the question! Fortunately, Perpetual Kid has the answer. Just wear these hilarious little plates with rings that fit right on your finger.
12 plates for $9.99 at Perpetual Kid
(See also: Small appliances with big impact)
Never mind the curious look of this contraption. But honestly, do we really need a "banana bunker" to protect the delicate fruit from bruising when placed in your backpack, nap sack, soft carrying case, or briefcase.? Apparently someone thinks so.
$6.99 at bananabunker.com
The Grilled Cheesus is an electronic sandwich press that toasts the face of Jesus onto your sandwich bread! Need we say more?
$40 at GrilledCheesus.com
You can arm yourself with the ability to dress sausages, fries, and burgers with ease with this ridiculous Condiment Gun sauce dispenser.
$13.50 at Amazon.
No silly wine box or bag for our best bottles of wine! We choose Vinderhosen, which are literally tiny German pants for your wine bottle!
$12 at mcphee.com
The OCD Chef Cutting Board
Not your average cutting board, this one is designed for the obsessive compulsive chef that needs complete order in the kitchen and beyond. Use the guides etched into the surface of this fine piece of beechwood to guide your knife with exacting measurements, precise angles, and handy definitions. Learn just how small a julienne is, and get it right next time!
$26 at thinkgeek.com
Wine is so chic, why not dumb it down with a playful bottle stopper?
$8 at Urban Outfitters
Take the effort out of getting spaghetti onto your fork with this battery-operated motorized, metal pronged fork, which winds your pasta so you don't have to.
$10 at kitchenkapers.com
Cutting veggies can be such a chore. Why not put some muscle into it with this black belt lettuce knife made of dishwasher safe high-impact plastic?
$11.99 at Perpetual Kid
You can easily rule in the epicurean jungle with this metal and plastic utensil, which snaps open with the push of a button to 11 inches long and feature a safety lock to prevent unexpected deployment.
$7 at McPhee
Make your diners sick before they even eat with Mustard Marvin, who replaces your mustard cap with his head and allows mustard to drip from his mouth!
$4.50 at Amazon
What's the point of keeping Kong captured and behind bars as you whip baked goods to a smooth, creamy concoction? We have no idea.
$15 at Perpetual Kid
Heaven forbid you wrap your food in everyday foil when you can coat your leftovers in foil decorated with fresh cuts of meat!
$4.05 at McPhee
More from Kaboodle: