Reviews Written by Kevin
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October 7, 2007
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June 12, 2007
Scarier than a trip to the dentist.
Pros: It's a terrifying roller-coaster ride from start to finish.
Cons: I had to change my underwear after it was over.
Ten minutes into this movie, a girl sitting in the back of a van sticks a gun in her mouth and pulls the trigger. Bang! Blood and brain matter fly everywhere and the other teenagers in the van are aghast. Then comes the most amazing shot ever filmed in horror cinema history. The camera shows the horrified expressions of onlookers. Then it pulls back through the girls mouth and the gaping hole in the back of her head, out the broken glass in the brain-splattered back window, and pulls back into the distance to show the other passengers fleeing from the van. Gore aside, it was an extremely impressive and creative way of depicting such a horrifying event. And it sets the tone for the rest of the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This film pulls no punches. Just when you think that it can't get any more macabre and horrifying, this film crosses the threshold and goes into shocking new territory. This version stayed true to the The only film I can think of that rivals this is Hostel. So if you like to be scared, disgusted and shocked, then the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a must-see film. ...
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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
by Jonathan Liebesman | VideoPrice: $0.43 to $14.99 Compare PricesJanuary 24, 2007
Why I will never go road-trip through rural Texas.
Pros: Scared the pee out of me, literally.
Cons: I now have a fear of large men wearing masks made out of human skin.
A good horror movie makes you continually wish that it would end while you're watching it, then wish you could see more when it's over. In that sense, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre: the Beginning delivers as promised. This is not a movie that will screened at the Senior Citizens center anytime soon. I was cringing during the entire movie.
When the remake of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out, I was somewhat skeptical. The original film had been the most disturbing thing I had seen, perhaps rivaled only by Hostel. After seeing the remake I was impressed because it gave me that same sick feeling of dread I had only experienced from watching the first one.
This movie answered questions that one may have had about the origins of Thomas Hewitt and his transformation into the homicidal maniac Leatherface. I really didn't think about it before, but it added to the story. The rest of the movie seemed to mirror the original more than the 2003 remake, especially the dinner scene. The ending made sense but twisted enough to leave you guessing until the last moment. In short, I was appalled, disgusted, nauseated, and extremely fearful during the entire movie...and I loved every second of it! ... -
September 26, 2006
Great idea, good music, stupid lyrics.
Pros: Hauntingly beautiful music and original concept.
Cons: Inane and pointless lyrics.
The Flaming Lips are the epitome of originality. Their music sets them into a totally different musical paradigm than what is found on the radio, even college radio. They are proof that the line between genius and insanity is microscopically thin, and it is on that line that they are always precariously balanced. Because of this one song will seem divinely beautiful and profound while the next seems like nonsensical noise.
Zaireeka deserves a gold star for out-of-the-box thinking. In theory it's an exciting concept. Once you collect four CD players and enough friends to get them cue them up simultaneously, you are rewarded with strangely beautiful and hypnotic music. Most fascinating is how turning up and down the volume or slightly changing the timing on one CD makes it sound as if you're listening to a completely different song, equally as beautiful. However, like every other Flaming Lips album, it's a love-hate relationship. The titles are moronic, the lyrics are mostly incoherent ramblings that sound like a transient spouting off random pieces of drug-induced wisdom. The song March of the Rotten Vegetables is about as pleasant to listent to as a root canal without novocaine..."Next...PLEASE!" But that's what you learn to appreciate about the Flaming Lips. Their music is not meant of the casual listener. It's a unique, intense, sometimes ugly experience that demands your complete attention and forces you to think. If you're a Flamings Lips fan you know what I'm talking about, and you probably have this album already. If you're not familiar with this group, I suggest starting with Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. It's much less experimental, much less work to listen to, and much more pleasant to the common ear. ... -
September 21, 2006
Music for the sex-machine in you!
Pros: Catchy, memorable lyrics and trippy sounds.
Cons: Cheesier than a bag of Cheetos.
Every so often, I come across music that makes me stop and listen. Such is the case with Nathaniel Merriweather's Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By. Faith No More's Michael Patton and Jennifer Charles of Elysian Fields have teamed with Dan "The Automator" Nakamura to create music that will get your blood racing. Charles' breathy vocals are a perfect match for the raunchy lyrics in songs such as "Strangers on a Train" and "Stroker Ace." Patton does a first-class job on "Anger Management" and there is even a semi-humorous contribution by Afrika Bambaataa. The only downside to this album is that smothered in cheesiness. That's what makes it funny and unique, but it gets old fast. I've noticed that this album doesn't get played as much as it used to. However, it does get played, and when it does it takes me on a pleasant sonic trip. The best time to listen to this album is on a long car ride by yourself, preferably at night, when you can absorb it with little distractions. Or you can follow the title's advice and play it while you're makin' love to your old lady. ...
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September 15, 2006
Groovy tunes...Did she just say sushi?
Pros: Original, catchy, and upbeat music.
Cons: I don't know what they're saying...are they talking about ME?
If there was ever a reason to learn Japanese (other than to understand the instructions for your camcorder), Pizzicato Five would be it. This musical group, known to their homeland as the founders of the Shibuya-kei movement, has taken 70s lounge music and transformed it into something hip, catchy, and fun. Most of the songs on Made in America are in Japanese, but dont' fret.
The cool thing about listening to music in a language that you don't understand is that you get to make up your own meanings. For example, I have decided that Twiggy Twiggy is about a ultra-sexy Asian girl who likes to party with the social elite. Otherwise, why would James Bond be at the same party? He doesn't hang around barn dances, my friend. But I digress.
Anyways, this is a good CD for those willing to venture out of the Top-40 realm and see what other cultures have to offer. Your friends will think that you're strange, but who cares? You're just cooler than they are. ... -
May 24, 2006
Def Leppard's Greatest Album
Pros: Every song is a masterpiece.
Cons: None
I realize that Def Leppard is a band that, at best, were rock icons of the '80s. That being said, Hysteria is an album that has earned it's place among truly great musical works such as Pink Floyd's The Wall, U2's Atchung Baby,or Nirvana's Nevermind. At the time of it's release it was an innovative album, and even twenty years later it stands out as a well-crafted product. Unlike many albums, not one song is worth skipping over. I have worn out two cassette tapes and one CD listening to Hysteria, and will continue to play it often. It will alway be one of my favorites. ...
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May 14, 2006
The dead are walking...again.
Pros: Truly shocking moments, good characters.
Cons: Just like every other zombie movie...everyone dies!
I like zombie movies, generally speaking. It's a freaky thing to imagine corpses walking the streets in search of human flesh. This movie stayed true to the tried and tested Zombie Movie Plot: A few survivors are holed out in a mall/military base/house surrounded by a large mob of walking corpses who are determined to devour them alive. Through either bad luck or their own stupidity, each person is taken by the evil creatures until only one or two are left. Just when you think they will survive, they too die. What I like about this film in particular were the characters and how you saw them change through the experience. The zombies themselves were also more active than the typical zombies that simply stumble around with their arms stretched. The gratuitous violence and gore was relatively well done. There was even some brief female nudity, a must for any horror flic. Overall I give this film a thumbs up. It was disturbing and intense. As usual the ending was depressing because everyone died, but afterall, it's a zombie movie! ...
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One man's battle with a promiscuous lifestyle.
Pros: Plenty of curvaceous ladies.
Cons: I was surprised, with the plot and content, that Pamela Anderson didn't lend her talents to this tale of lustful desire.
Memphis Reigns has never had a problem finding women who are "begging to be plucked." His crazy adventures has made him into an LA legend. It's not all fun and games however, and after becoming disenchanted with his risky lifestyle, Memphis moves out away from L.A. for a change.
During a brief family visit, Memphis' legenday status as lady's man leads to a challenge from a bold newcomer: Bag fifty exotic women in only three nights without paying for any of them. Even for Memphis, this is an extremely difficult task. But to save his reputation and remain the hero of his little brother, Memphis accepts the challenge against his better judgement. With help from his friends, Memphis finds and romances forty-nine beautiful females. Only one remains, a crazy starlet named Eleanor. With a history of failed attempts and crazy rides, she will be his greatest challenge yet. Will Memphis and his gang be able to tame this wild pony, or will she leave him with a lifetime of regret and a burning reminder of their encounter?
Gone in Sixty 60 is the story of a man who's past promiscuity has led to uncomfortable consequences and despairs upon learning that his kid brother is following in his footsteps. After years of abstinence, he becomes concerned about his ability to perform under pressure despite his vast experience. This is a truthful look at the life of an aging gigalo and his struggle to retain his youth and vitality. With plenty of voluptuous females in various positions, this film catches the wild and crazy side of the LA sex scene and the sad consequences of risky encounters. The final scene between Memphis and Eleanor is sure to become movie legend, with an unprecedented amount of squeeling, banging, bumping and grinding. I give Gone in 60 seconds two thumbs up, and highly recommend it to anyone who loves watching fast-moving hot women. ...