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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Massage
- 3 -
Working from the Outside In

In This Chapter

• What kind of massage could you use?

• Self-esteem: the key to body awareness
  
  
• How to live in your body-mind

Do you feel like your body reflects the inner you? Or is it just an often inconvenient container for the you that exists primarily, as you see it, in your brain? Unless your body is an integral part of your profession (if you happen to be, say, a professional athlete), you might consider your body merely a hanger for your business clothes, equipment for toting kids and groceries from here to there, or a relatively unreliable piece of machinery that runs down at the most inconvenient of times. Getting a massage is a great way to pay attention to your body, but it isn't the only way. A little attention to that vessel that carries you from birth through death, both before and certainly after you receive a massage, will help you to get even more out of the massage experience.

Start from the Body

Most of us go through life ignoring our bodies most of the time, but paying attention to your body has significant rewards. When you learn to acknowledge, notice, and nurture your body, you'll develop a whole new relationship with your physical container. You'll be more comfortable in your skin. You'll feel as though the outer you reflects the inner you. You'll also experience these benefits:

• Your body will be more likely to react the way you want it to, especially during times of stress.

• You'll feel better about your life in general and your place in the world.

• You'll have more energy.

• You'll look better.

• Perhaps most importantly, you'll develop a healthy relationship with your body. You'll learn to like the way your body looks, feels, and behaves.

Learning to be in tune with your body takes some practice and can only be accomplished by first examining your habits, your schedule, your environment, and your level of stress--in essence, your lifestyle.

Breaking Bad Habits

Just about everyone will acknowledge they've got a few bad habits: nail biting, hair twirling, an incurable chocolate chip cookie addiction. Bad body habits, on the other hand, are bad habits you might not even notice you have (another clue that you aren't paying enough attention to your body). Potential bad body habits are numerous; they include slumping, slouching, tending to twist towards one side, or overuse of certain muscles or joints.

Do you have bad body habits? The following are some common body transgressions:

• Slouching at your desk

• Always sloping your shoulders to one side

• Holding the telephone between your ear and your shoulder

• Crossing your legs (which can cut off circulation and can cause or aggravate varicose veins)

• Pulling your shoulders up slightly when under stress

• Locking your knees when standing

• Always sitting with one leg lifted, twisted, or turned

Bad body habits do more harm than you might realize, too. When your body becomes accustomed to certain positions or movements, those movements start to feel like the norm even though they're inhibiting your body from functioning correctly. Take the example of slouching at your desk, something many of us are prone to do. Sure, slouching looks bad; it makes you look heavier, clunkier, less graceful, even less happy. But slouching does damage to more than your appearance. It crunches all your internal organs together, compacting your lungs, your stomach, and your digestive tract. You can't breathe as deeply when you slouch. You can't digest your food as well. Your torso is built to be roomy, and when you slouch, you mess up your inner workings.

In addition, slouching is often caused by muscles contracting unnaturally. When you try to correct your slouch by forcing yourself to stand or sit in a more upright position, you may end up harmfully contracting other muscles, a not-necessarily-better option. Massage and other bodywork can help to correct slouching in a healthier way.

The same goes for habits such as hiking up your shoulders or always twisting to one side. When your muscles are continually tense or twisted, they can't receive oxygen or flush out toxins nearly as well. They won't work at optimum capacity. Such bad body habits are common side effects of too much stress. When you don't manage your stress, it runs rampant on your body, doing its dirty work. Eventually, you'll feel the effects, whether through muscle atrophy, frequent minor illnesses, or a general, overwhelming feeling of fatigue.

Stress Is a Form of Violence

When you allow stress to harm you, you're committing violence to yourself. Even if you consider yourself a gentle person who wouldn't hurt a fly, you are hurting yourself every time you don't manage your stress. Unfortunately, these days stress is a way of life for most of us. If stress is a part of your life, the best way to protect yourself from its harmful effects is to learn to manage it.

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A Massage Minute What happens, chemically, when you experience stress? A series of hormones signal your adrenal gland to release adrenaline and cortisol, which prepare your body to respond to stress. More blood is directed to your brain and muscles. Glucose and fat are released into your blood for energy, and a substance called fibrin is mobilized to combine with thrombocytes to assist blood clotting in case of injury. (You got that?!)

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How are you supposed to manage stress? First, don't get all stressed thinking about how you'll manage your stress. We saw those shoulder muscles contracting, that brow furrowing! Take a deep breath, fearless reader, and read on. There are all sorts of options. Massage, of course, is one of the best options, but there are others, and the more of them you can implement, the better.

Mindful Meditation

A few minutes each day spent in quiet reflection, prayer, or whatever form of peaceful thought or non-thought you find works for you will do wonders for your stress level and ability to think clearly. You can learn meditation through a class, books, or even through on-line lessons on the Internet. Consider it mental health maintenance.

Heavy Breathing

Deep breathing renews you, fills your body with positive energy, and clears your mind. Most of us don't get enough oxygen, and deep breathing immediately delivers the oxygen our bodies crave. Take a break once or twice a day to step outside (preferably away from a polluted street) and take a few full, deep, fill-up-with-air-down-to-your-toes breaths. Breathe slowly, in through your nose and out through your nose or mouth. Try making your exhale twice as long as your inhale. Concentrate fully on your breath, forgetting everything else.

You may also consider learning a little bit about the structured deep breathing techniques, called pranayama, that yoga teaches. You'll be amazed at how such a simple, accessible, and absolutely free activity can make such a difference in the way you feel. Try the following pranayama exercise condensed from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Yoga:

1. Cover your right nostril with your right thumb.

2. Inhale through your left nostril.

3. Close your left nostril and hold the breath for a few seconds.

4. Uncover your right nostril and exhale through it.

5. Inhale through the right nostril, close it, and exhale through the left. Continue alternating nostrils.

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Touch Talk Pranayama is the Hindu word for yoga breathing exercises designed to help you master control of the breath and, ultimately, your life force.

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A combination of breathing, health-enhancing postures, and relaxation, yoga is a fantastic stress management technique, with lots of other great physical, mental, and emotional health benefits to boot!

Express Yourself

Sometimes, all you need to do to blow off steam is to talk about what's bugging you. The trick is finding a good audience. A friend, partner, or relative who will listen without offering advice or trying to fix your problem is the ideal. You might even be surprised to discover how you really feel about what's causing you stress. Sometimes putting things into words finally makes them clear.

If you don't have a good listener or if you just don't feel comfortable venting your problems out loud, try keeping a journal. A daily entry (it doesn't have to be long) in which you expound upon your day and how you felt about it can be great therapy. Like talking, sometimes writing about a problem can finally put it in perspective, and solutions will become apparent. As a great author (E.M. Forster) once said, "How can I tell what I think until I see what I say?"

Work It Out

A brisk walk, a brief run, a vigorous aerobics class, or a slamming game of racquetball can dissolve stress. And a massage afterwards spells pure relief!

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Your Finger on the Pulse Uncover the way your lifestyle affects your body via an hourly body check. Try this today. Stop every hour or so and, without adjusting your position, examine how your body feels and what it is doing. You might be surprised at how seldom you find yourself in a good body position.

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When Life Is a Real Pain in the Neck

Stress isn't the only way your lifestyle can damage your body. Almost any activity you do frequently, whether typing at a computer, loading packages onto a truck, carrying around an infant, or sitting all day in horrendously long meetings, will wear on your system. Maybe you love your job, your hobby, your lifestyle, but your body may not love what life does to it. Again, better body awareness will bring these work-related and lifestyle-related bad habits to light.

Could You Use a Massage? A Lifestyle Quiz

We'll admit it right now: No matter how you score on this quiz, we're going to say that you could certainly use a massage, because everyone can benefit from a massage. The purpose of this quiz isn't just to let you know you could use a massage, however. It's also to help you uncover some of the lifestyle factors that might be contributing to unhealthy body habits--or to let you know what you're doing right! We'll also analyze the ways in which massage can benefit you according to your lifestyle analysis.

1. I would describe myself as mostly:

A. Sedentary by choice. I don't move if I can help it, and there's nothing I hate more than exercise.

B. Sedentary out of necessity. My job doesn't allow me to get much exercise, and after work, I don't have the time, although I wish I could do more. Maybe someday I'll be able to make exercise a part of my life.

C. Active by choice. I love to be active whenever I can, and I'm in pretty good shape.

D. Active out of necessity. I have a physical job and/or a physical family, so I'm always moving, but I don't particularly enjoy it. I wish I could spend more time relaxing, but at least I'm physically fit.

2. At this moment, I can perceive tension:

A. Nowhere.

B. Everywhere.

C. In a few typical places: my neck, lower back, or legs.

D. In my neck, back, legs, joints, but it feels more like pain. I ache all over!

3. This is how I feel about my job:

A. It pays the bills for now, but I don't plan to be in this field forever.

B. Love it, love it, love it! It's my dream job.

C. Whenever I wake up in the morning and think about going to work, I get the most oppressive feeling and immediately feel stressed--but once I'm there, it's not always so bad.

D. If I could possibly get by with quitting, I would do so in a second--and boy would I love to tell off my boss!

4. My personal relationships are mostly:

A. Pretty satisfactory. I have lots of friends, although I wouldn't feel comfortable talking too personally to them. I get along well with most members of my family.

B. All give and no take. I'm the one everyone comes to with their problems, but I don't feel comfortable taking my problems to anyone. I'm supposed to be the "rock."

C. Very fulfilling. I have a few very close friends who are always willing to listen. My family is supportive and loving. I feel emotionally rich when I think about my friends and family.

D. Horrible. I often feel isolated. People aren't comfortable confiding in me, and I don't feel like I can confide in anyone. I have acquaintances but I wouldn't call them friends. People probably have no idea how lonely I am because I would never reveal my feelings.

5. When I am happy, my body:

A. Usually feels great. Feeling healthy and in-shape makes me feel happy.

B. Is the last thing on my mind! I'm happiest when I'm not thinking about my body--in fact, thinking too much about it is sure to bring me down!

C. Takes the day off. I'm happiest when I'm completely relaxing, pampering myself, taking it easy.

D. Is happy? Happiness sounds vaguely familiar...I think the last time I was really happy was when I was a kid. Back then, I was really "in" my body, but now my body is foreign and uncomfortable to me.

6. When I am stressed, my body:

A. Tenses up in a few characteristic places, like my shoulders or my neck.

B. Gets restless, telling me it needs to exercise to blow off steam.

C. Gets sick.

D. Wants nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep.

7. I probably touch other people:

A. Multiple times per day. I have a very affectionate family.

B. Several times per day. I kiss my partner good-bye and hug my kids before and after school. I shake hands or give little hugs to close friends when I happen to see them.

C. Rarely. Touching makes me uncomfortable.

D. Once or twice a day in a fairly formal manner, such as a handshake, a congratulatory slap on the back, ruffling the hair of a cute kid. But these days, you can't be too careful--touching can get you in trouble!

8. Strength-wise, I consider myself:

A. Basically a big wimp, but most of the time, I don't mind too much.

B. Pretty darned buff!

C. I think I used to have muscles somewhere.

D. About average, I guess. Not so weak that I feel impaired in any way, but I don't lift weights or anything.

9. When I look in the mirror, I usually think:

A. "One of these days, I'm taking down all these mirrors so I don't have to inflict this kind of suffering on myself!"

B. "Hmm, no movie star, but pretty good, considering!"

C. Remember when Fonzie on Happy Days looked in the mirror to comb his hair, then put the comb away because he realized how perfect he already looked? That's me, baby!

D. How on earth did I get to look so (old) (fat) (gray) (wrinkled) (dumpy)?

10. If I could go back in time and change one thing about my life, I would:

A. Have chosen a career that makes a whole lot more money. I never have enough and it's my main source of stress.

B. Take a risk to achieve my dreams. I've taken the easy and safe route most of my life, and I feel I've missed out on a lot of excitement and opportunity.

C. Find my soul mate. My personal relationships aren't very fulfilling.

D. Start the whole thing over again because I did it all wrong.

E. Keep my past completely intact. I've had a good life, and I don't have any serious regrets.

Scoring:

Give yourself the appropriate number of points according to your answers:

1.	A. 4	B. 3	C. 1	D. 2
2.	A. 1	B. 3	C. 2	D. 4
3.	A. 2	B. 1	C. 3	D. 4
4.	A. 2	B. 3	C. 1	D. 4
5.	A. 1	B. 3	C. 2	D. 4
6.	A. 2	B. 1	C. 4	D. 3
7.	A. 1	B. 2	C. 4	D. 3
8.	A. 3	B. 1	C. 4	D. 2
9.	A. 4	B. 2	C. 1	D. 3
10.	A. 3	B. 3	C. 3	D. 4	E. 1

What your score means:

If you scored between 10 and 20: Congratulations! You feel pretty good about yourself, your body, and your life. You're more self-aware and body-aware than average, and it pays off in good health and the ability to handle most stress that comes your way. To maintain a body (and an attitude) like yours takes work, but it's work you love. Adding massage to your body care routine is a great way to pamper and cherish the body that's obviously your friend.

If you scored between 21 and 30: You aren't perfect, and you know it. The good thing is, you don't mind much, either. Your health and body awareness could stand some improvement, but you don't tend to stress too much about the details, and that goes a long way towards good health. The key for you is to maintain your low-stress attitude while still striving to make positive changes in your body awareness. If you start to put too much pressure on yourself, you'll defeat the purpose!

Massage is a great way to improve your health and body awareness without adding stress to your life. Think of it as a well-deserved treat, a maintenance plan for your positive attitude. You don't need to worry too much about your health and your body, unless they start causing you problems, such as chronic illness, obesity, aches and pains, or depression. That's when your body is talking to you, and you should be prepared to listen.

If you scored between 31 and 40: Your body is calling, and you're not picking up the phone! But we've got news for you: Bodies will only take so much neglect before they turn on you. Yours may not have "turned" yet, but if you continue ignoring your body's needs, it won't be long.

It's time to sit down and engage in some serious self-reflection. Have a heart-to-heart with your body and try to discover what it's telling you it needs. A better diet? A little more exercise? Occasional pampering? You could certainly benefit from regular massage, not only because of the therapeutic effects on your health, but also as a way to get back in touch with the body you may have forgotten is yours, all yours.

Also, although it may be difficult, consider beginning massage therapy. If touch is a difficult issue for you, find a massage therapist who can progress at a rate you find comfortable. Massage will do wonders for your sense of self, re-introducing you to your body in a new way. Even if you don't believe it right now, you deserve to be happy, and your body deserves some TLC.

Go to the Heart of It

You might have noticed that a lot of the quiz had to do with gauging your self-esteem. When it comes to body awareness, self-esteem is at the heart of the issue. If you value yourself, you will value (and consequently pay attention to) your body.

Of course, you may have great self-esteem when it comes to your mind, even though you prefer not to think about your body more than you have to. You may be very proud of your intellectual abilities, your accomplishments, your career, your ability as a good parent or friend or partner. And even though you bought this book, we know you don't really consider yourself a complete idiot.

But until you can learn to esteem and value your body, you'll be missing a major piece of the self-esteem puzzle. Your body isn't separate from your mind, your emotions, or your "self." Mind, body, and spirit together equal the self, and they must be balanced if you, as a complete individual, want to be balanced. Along those lines, however, your mind and your emotions can help you with poor body esteem, because as we've said, they're all connected. If you can't quite accept your body for what it is, let the other parts of yourself offer their services.

Once More, with Emotion

One of the worst things you can do to your body and your self-esteem is to deny your emotions. What do emotions have to do with your body? Absolutely everything. When you repress your anger or sadness or disappointment, those feelings don't just disappear. They lodge in your body and slowly take their toll, tying muscles in knots, congesting the passage of blood and nutrients, blocking the flow of the life force.

How can you let your emotions out? There are many ways, including therapy and exercise, but bodywork is one of the best. When the body is manipulated in such a way that its physical processes are set free and circulation is enhanced, emotions buried in the body are also released.

A body-mind that holds stress inside will show it outwardly. Letting go of stress and negative emotions opens the body and the mind too!

Learning to Live in Your Body-Mind

Once you've reacquainted yourself with your body, you can begin (or continue) the process of integrating your body, your mind, and your spirit. Our society teaches us, in many subtle ways, that body and mind are separate. Yet common sense reveals that they are, indeed, one: a body-mind. Body and mind can't be separated, and everything that affects one affects the other.

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Your Finger on the Pulse Many people find it extremely difficult to release their emotions. If you have trouble getting it all out, consider taking an acting class. Sometimes it's easier to purge your emotions when you are "in character" as someone else.

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So you don't really have a body and then a mind or a mind and then a body. You have a body-mind. Learning to live in your body-mind means acknowledging the effects of everything you do, feel, and experience on your entire self. It's a holistic method of existence that makes sense and feels good. You'll soon discover that physical activity can heighten your spirituality, that spirituality can effect emotional release, that emotional release can enhance your physical health. You'll feel the way you look, you'll love the way you feel, and you'll become more whole. You'll literally be "pulling yourself together," and the result is sure to be some-thing wonderful.

The Least You Need to Know

• Attaining body awareness means evaluating and breaking unhealthy body habits, reducing stress, and adjusting your lifestyle.

• How you feel about yourself can determine the best type of massage for you.

• Low self-esteem interferes with body awareness. Address your self-esteem issues by learning how to be calm, by practicing deep breathing, and by releasing your emotions.

• Living in your body-mind means integrating your body, mind, and spirit to achieve a whole self.